Tuesday 12 August 2014

DAY 23 TODAY

On Saturday I told my young brother, and then on Sunday I told my older sister and my older brother.  I sort of had to, to beat the family bush telegraph!  They are all quite shocked and amazed, but very supportive and positive. I had a tiff with Mr Normal and took off from there on Sunday morning. He is the only person I have told who has not said "good on you" or "I'm proud of you", and it hurts, so I told him so.  I am probably being a wee bit childish, but I just can't really understand it. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to say it, he is not the most gushingly expressive man.  Or perhaps he is reserving his praise because he expects me to fail.
On the way home from there I rang up my older brother to see if he would like me to take him to lunch.  I picked him up and we had a nice lunch in a cafe.  In the car I told him about quitting the drinking, and he was really pleased with me, and said the happiest, clearest and best times of his life have been when he has given up drinking.  (he actually has a bit of an ongoing problem with it too). I had a classy lemonade and he had a beer, and we had a nice lunch and a good chat.  When we left we went over to the supermarket so he could get a couple of big bottles of Coopers.  He'd had a big night on Sat night and needed a bit of the old hair of the dog. I am happy to report that I felt no pangs whatsoever at that moment in the supermarket, or at the cafe.  I felt glad that I didn't have to decide whether or not to have a drink, or get any to take home.  I wished for him to be where I was, on day 21. He is actually way better than me at giving it up, and goes for quite long periods without. I hope I really can do this and that it will help him to ditch it for good too.  I told him of Mrs D's book, and website and about doing the blogs and how much it helps.
I am terribly afraid that I will weaken one of these days and just go "ah fuck it" and have a drink, then 10.  It is like I am going so well, that I can hardly believe myself, and I imagine summer days in the back yard around the big table and everyone drinking....how am I going to stand up to that?
Ah well, for today I shall just worry about today. And today I am doing okay, despite being a bit emotional.
I hope you are all powering through your busy days, and are too busy to even think too much about it.
Actually that is the amazing thing!  Several times I have caught myself Not Thinking About It for hours and hours and hours at a time.  So the stimulation of work or movies or books or company can certainly take your mind off it........

6 comments:

  1. You will talk to us here on your blog and at Living Sober and we will remind you that alcohol has absolutely nothing to add to your life and so much to take away xxx

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  2. You won't weaken because that fear will keep you straight.You are doing great.We can do this.I feel a bit emotional too and was pretty snippy last week.It seems to come and go.

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  3. It's amazing to watch ourselves grow and see those moments of peace (not thinking of drinking) and when there is no desire for alcohol. My husband hasn't said anything about my not drinking, I don't think he gets it yet. I'm not pushing the issue.

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  4. Thanks KS. I seem to be re-evaluating a lot of things, and thinking I need to make big drastic changes in my personal life, but I will go slowly for now and re-think it all in a couple of weeks or so. It's freezing here today and I've just got home with freezing hands and feet. Glad I left the heat pump pumping when I went out. Have a good day x

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  5. Maybe last week was official "snippy" week? I'm scared of that "ah fuck it" moment too - and almost had one tonight - but lets just keep coming home and blogging and telling each other about that moment instead of succumbing. We can do this together. xx

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  6. Yeah sure Colourful, that'll be great. I even dreamed about having a drink last night and I could see the spirit liquid strong in the bottom of the glass where the ice was and weaker at the top where it was more just diet coke, and I wanted to skull it to get to the strong stuff. Jeez...how bad is that? I guess I have been bashing away at it for a very long time, so I guess this sort of thing is to be expected. I don't sleep well either so every night I have hours awake, and usually get back to sleep just before it's time to get up. It will get better, surely.

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