Tuesday, 5 August 2014


Hello all........I failed to make a post yesterday, I think it was the first time since I started.  I just had a really shitty day and I tried to write but no words fell off my fingers, so I just gave up, switched everything off and went to bed ridiculously early.  It was a rough day on all fronts, and I'd have to say today hasn't been much better.  I guess I just have heaps going on and sometimes the pressure of it all becomes overwhelming.
I find bed is the best place for me to be when I feel like this.  Bed is like a safe little haven for me and my room is my sanctuary.  It is nice and big, and has a lovely old gothic fireplace (unfortunately no longer working after the earthquakes, it was one of 4 that are now out of action).  On the mantlepiece I have a big TV, and I alternate between DVD's, TV, reading and sometimes writing down all the things I've got to do the next day so I won't fret in the night.  When I used to drink (like 16 days ago) I would probably have the logburner going out here in the lounge, and after the  news and Campbell Live I would play some music or chat on the phone, maybe watch a movie, all the while slugging back a few drinks, cooking, doing laundry, generally enjoying myself while multi tasking the domestic stuff.  Now I don't quite know what to do with myself.  I am exhausted mentally and physically, I've got a back ache, and I am just waiting till it's late enough to go to bed. They discharged my brother from the hospital today, less than 4 days after major liver surgery and he is still throwing up and not really eating yet.  It makes me real mad how quick they get rid of them these days.  I just hope he stays on the couch.  Hard man to keep down.
Well as you can see I am all doom and flipping gloom, but I do want to post every day if I can, so sometimes they will be more interesting than others.  I simply can't think of one interesting thing to say today.
Yes I can!  I am really looking forward to the new website, and I take my hat off to Mrs D for being so brilliant, and for getting it together for all of us.  Let's not let her down.
Tomorrow is sure to be a better day, and I must remember just how very much I have to be grateful for....not least to have this way of sharing my thoughts, and all of yours, and feeling less alone in the down times.  Good....now I can scarper off to bed.  Nite everyone xo


  1. Hey you - please be kind to yourself. You are going through some major stuff right now, especially with your brother. Skipping a day blogging is cool (just try and maybe read one blog that day) and going to bed early is cool. It's all about whatever it takes. You know, even before I sobered up (oh yeah, a whole 24 days ago!) I often had days where I simply had to ride it out - and those days usually entailed going to bed very early in some sort of hope that the next day would be OK again. I'll get those days again, as will you, and we just need to get through them - the difference this time, is we do it without booze. You've made Day 16 - I reckon Day 17 is going to happen to, and so on and son on xx

  2. Your bed/sanctuary sounds quite nice. mine usually is full of animals.I hope your brother is doing well, and that things are better today for you. I've been a bit off these past few days myself, guess it's part of the waves of withdrawals, both physically and mentally. Take care.

  3. I hope today is better for you.funny enough I have been great for 2 days and I'm suspicious.Like,when do I crash? Silly isn't it? Being either miserable or waiting to be miserable.
    Isn't bed wonderful? I'm looking forward to the new web site too.

  4. Going to bed early sounds like a perfect new habit for when you are feeling down - better than opening up a bottle to squash down those feelings. I did the very same thing last night and after reading some blogs felt a bit better. Our bodies probably need a lot of healing right now so rest for you as well as your brother is a top priority.