The only conclusion is not to drink. To accept that my life will change, in time, and that I must do all the inner stuff required to make that happen, and to be ready for the joy that is waiting for me out there somewhere.
I don’t do winter well, especially on my own, things feel bleaker than they are. I am quite happy in my own company, it is not like I am longing for company all the time or wish to have others living in my home. (I should, I’d make a small fortune if I rented out the 3 spare double bedrooms)!. It is very peaceful now that my business is quiet for a while, to be here at home and pick and choose how I spend my time. I’m able to get on with other plans and projects that will help in my retirement, which I would like to see arrive sooner rather than later. I also live with a fair amount of pressure coming from all directions, and I guess also the pressure I put on myself to keep on keeping on and to do everything at all times, sober. I have become more introverted than I’ve ever been before, this is hard to get used to after always being the life of the flipping party!
It's Saturday night so I might go and do something really exciting and different now, like go to my toastie warm bed and watch a movie.