Hi Everyone. Woke up to a rather overcast day but it turned out to be lovely and sunny all afternoon. I went to the 85th birthday and the sun streamed in and there was quite a bit of humour and a nice time had by all. It was my first actual party, but quite tame so it wasn't too much of an effort or challenge not to drink. Amazing views from Scarborough Hill, and some very interesting conversations with lovely people. Home now with a nice fire going and feeling pretty calm and relaxed.
Last night Mr Normal and I went to see the movie "100 year old man climbs out the window" and then went and had some Tapas at the Monday Room, so that relieved the boredom a bit. (I have been feeling quite bored, with myself, others, I dunno). I've never been to a movie before on the same day that I have finished reading the book. Movie was great. Book 20 times better.
I've been feeling kind of empty, can't really say it better than that. I am waiting to have great feelings of elation that I don't drink now, and waiting to notice how incredibly much better my life is. Starting to think maybe I wasn't so bad. I am kind of envious of those of you who just Love their lives now. I am thinking one of the reasons why it is not totally floating my boat is that I am probably a lot older than most of you and therefore have been giving it a good bash for a really super long time (40 years)and so perhaps for me it will take longer to adjust and feel the benefits more profoundly. Also my sleeping hasn't improved, so I spend several hours awake in the wee hours of the morning pretty much every night. I will stick at it though and try to bring something new into my life to be inspired about. Mr Normal is taking me up to Portage this coming weekend, we leave on Thursday morning and back Sunday evening. I will take my tramping boots and go for a bit of a hike on the Queen Charlotte walkway, and hope to go fishing on his boat as well. We have been there about 5 times together, as he has some land near there, it is a beautiful spot, and has a superb restaurant which is usually the highlight of the trips. It will be a little different this time for obvious reasons. But at least I can still pig out on gorgeous food. I am looking forward to having a break and getting out in nature, and I hope it jolts me out of my "spoiled brat" attitude and that I come back feeling more grateful for the life I have and the chance of a better one that I have recently given myself.
I started a new book this morning which I ordered from the library after dipping into the Tool Kit on www.livingsober.org.nz It is called The Trip to Echo Spring, and is about the effects of alcohol on some of the literary greats, like F Scott Fitzgerald, Earnest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, John Berryman, John Cheever and Raymond Carver (all alcoholics). I am only about 100 pages in but it is fascinating and insightful. So thank you to whoever suggested it. I also ordered another four suggested in the tool kit so I have got some excellent reading to do, which is one of my greatest pleasures.
I hope you are all having a peaceful and stress free Sunday and that you are soon to enjoy a lovely Sunday dinner with your families. Over and out xo