Sunday, 24 August 2014


Hi Everyone.  Woke up to a rather overcast day but it turned out to be lovely and sunny all afternoon. I went to the 85th birthday and the sun streamed in and there was quite a bit of humour and a nice time had by all.  It was my first actual party, but quite tame so it wasn't too much of an effort or challenge not to drink.  Amazing views from Scarborough Hill, and some very interesting conversations with lovely people.  Home now with a nice fire going and feeling pretty calm and relaxed.
Last night Mr Normal and I went to see the movie "100 year old man climbs out the window" and then went and had some Tapas at the Monday Room, so that relieved the boredom a bit. (I have been feeling quite bored, with myself, others, I dunno).  I've never been to a movie before on the same day that I have finished reading the book.  Movie was great.  Book 20 times better.
I've been feeling kind of empty, can't really say it better than that.  I am waiting to have great feelings of elation that I don't drink now, and waiting to notice how incredibly much better my life is. Starting to think maybe I wasn't so bad.  I am kind of envious of those of you who just Love their lives now. I am thinking one of the reasons why it is not totally floating my boat is that I am probably a lot older than most of you and therefore have been giving it a good bash for a really super long time (40 years)and so perhaps for me it will take longer to adjust and feel the benefits more profoundly.  Also my sleeping hasn't improved, so I spend several hours awake in the wee hours of the morning pretty much every night. I will stick at it though and try to bring something new into my life to be inspired about.  Mr Normal is taking me up to Portage this coming weekend, we leave on Thursday morning and back Sunday evening.  I will take my tramping boots and go for a bit of a hike on the Queen Charlotte walkway, and hope to go fishing on his boat as well.  We have been there about 5 times together, as he has some land near there, it is a beautiful spot, and has a superb restaurant which is usually the highlight of the trips.  It will be a little different this time for obvious reasons. But at least I can still pig out on gorgeous food. I am looking forward to having a break and getting out in nature, and I hope it jolts me out of my "spoiled brat" attitude and that I come back feeling more grateful for the life I have and the chance of a better one that I have recently given myself.
I started a new book this morning which I ordered from the library after dipping into the Tool Kit on  It is called The Trip to Echo Spring, and is about the effects of alcohol on some of the literary greats, like F Scott Fitzgerald, Earnest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, John Berryman, John Cheever and Raymond Carver (all alcoholics).  I am only about 100 pages in but it is fascinating and insightful. So thank you to whoever suggested it.  I also ordered another four suggested in the tool kit so I have got some excellent reading to do, which is one of my greatest pleasures.
I hope you are all having a peaceful and stress free Sunday and that you are soon to enjoy a lovely Sunday dinner with your families.  Over and out xo


  1. Hey you - I am not feeling overly excited about being sober right now either. Just kind of over it to be frank! But I have to remember I did this for a reason, so have to get going, because there must be reason behind this. We BOTH have to remember why we stopped, and both keep going. I read 100 year old man and loved it by the way - haven't seen the movie. Worth it I take it? I am about to read dirty politics - I figure its going to make me want to drink (but I wont!) xx

  2. Hi Colourful. Yea I know, it's just that other me inside of me trying to slog it out with the sober me I think. I will keep going if you do.We need to get to place where we have got months of sober living behind us, feel adapted and calm and happy. That hasn't happened for me yet. Though I am aware that there is no greater change than that from a negative to a positive attitude. So that might help, for me!! Lots of stress and pressure in my business, which will only become more intense as the season rolls on. When I crave alcohol I tend to daydream about the good bits......not going to bed disappointed in myself, and waking up feeling like a loser etc. I am not ready to cave in, and nor are you, but it is good to be able to be honest, and to feel all of our feelings. Lets just cheer up and feel proud of ourselves. We are fucking legends! The movie would have needed to be about 4 hours long to fit everything in it, so although it was really well done, it missed so much out too. To those who haven't read the book I'd say they would love it. Everyone at Alices was laughing and enjoying it. I enjoyed it too but was also glad that I had the full story. Let me know how you go with Dirty Politics. See on the news tonight has got wikileaks in tow and they are gong to make an announcement 5 days before the election. Have a great night xo

  3. Hi there.
    Early sobriety iOS full of ups and downs. Some mild depression is not uncommon. Have you read about paws? I think that's partly why we all like sugar so much. A little feel good.
    Try taking magnesium before bed. You buy it with the vitamins. It relaxes you and most women are deficient. It helps with sleep enormously. Not sleeping well can cause anyone to be cranky!

  4. Thank you Sue for your kind suggestions. What is paws? I will try the magnesium too.

  5. Paws is post acute withdrawl syndrome.
    Once the alcohol wears off your body needs to deal with long term impacts of drinking.
    It's worth reading about. It explains a lot of the mood swings, etc that go on for months.

  6. I'm sure not sleeping better yet and I hate that. But I wasn't sleeping well before, or for the last few years for the matter. Females and hormones...ugh. Take care.

  7. Hi KS, I was just wondering how you are and jumped over to here to have a look for you, and here you are. Yes my sleep wasn't much good before I gave up either. I always wake up somewhere between 1.30 and 3.00am, even if I was not drinking that night. But I will google this paws that Anne S has told me about and see what I learn there. It would be a relief to get a really good night's sleep just a few times a week. I hope things are going well for you and that you are feeling calm and relaxed, and getting on with some excellent knitting xo