I've never written a blog before, but taking a leaf from the lovely Mrs D's book, I thought Day One might be a good place to start. I have no idea if I can do this, but I am much inspired by all of you online people out there helping yourselves and helping others. I hope to change my life today. I have a vision of a happy fun and love filled future with me being sober, and being the best I can be, for myself first, and for my children, my man, and my friends and my family. I read the first half of Mrs D's book yesterday, having ordered it when I saw her amazing TV interview. I'd been putting off reading it because I was scared of the naked truth it would reveal to me, and I felt I had a wee bit more drinking to do first. Well that ended yesterday. No big fanfare, I didn't tell anyone, just had a few southern comforts as usual whilst making a beef stroganoff dinner for my grown up kids and their partners, then a few more, nice fire, a bit of Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen and Johnnie Cash after they'd all gone. Drank the pretty standard amount of the wee 300 ml bottle (which I pour into from a 40 oz one to try to monitor what I drink). Then I thought I'd better get rid of a few nips of whisky that a friend had left in the pantry, only had 2 of those and just to show myself a small bit of restraint I threw the last bit down the sink. At the moment I am scared to finish Mrs D's book coz its her book that has given me the courage and determination to even attempt this, and what will I do when I've finished it? I have been doing this for a very very long time for five, six or seven days a week.
So here I am, nervous and frankly quite terrified. I really want to do this.
I think I'll go and read another chapter.