Today has been real busy, so busy in fact that I forgot to think about alcohol for nearly the whole day!
I'm thinking about it now though because I've just read Mrs D's lovely post and all the comments, and I've read the first couple of chapters of Jason Vale's book. So far so good. I'm home alone, and feeling a bit flat but that's okay. I am not sleeping very well. Last night I nodded off in bed for about half and hour while watching tele, missed my program then didn't get back to sleep until about 3.45am and up again at 7.30am.
I will be glad when my sleep improves.
Over all I guess I'm not doing it too hard. I miss it for sure. It still feels kind of unbelievable that I am attempting to give it up for good. That's the hardest bit to get my head around. A good friend just rang and said she was in the area and should she call in? I said yes at first, sure if you feel like it. Then I felt it necessary to say that I am feeling a bit flat and I am not drinking and still had some stuff to do and I'm watching the news on 1+1 coz I missed it. You see normally every time she visits I open a bottle of wine for her and get out some olives and cheese and crackers etc, and she drinks wine and I drink southern comfort and diet coke and we have a great old catch up and a laugh. I love her visits. I love her. She is pretty sensible and only has two or three small glasses as she has to drive home, and she doesn't stay late......(well unless we really get on it and she stays the night). I always drink more than her and I continue to drink after she has gone. Anyway she was cool about it and said she'll just go home and watch the news too, and it's good that I wasn't drinking. The truth is I am really tired, and worried about a whole lot of stuff and I just want to get into my toasty warm bed and read my book. And on Friday my very long time friend is coming up from down South to stay the weekend. Hopefully I've snapped out of this flat stage by then. I've already told her what I'm up to, and I'm looking forward to seeing her, at the same time as being a little apprehensive. I will cook on Friday night and she and my partner will probably have a few beers and wines, and there's this great Burmese restaurant The Bodhi Tree so I think I'll talk them into going there on Sat night and maybe a movie. God I sound like a real boring misery guts don't I? I'm glad it's winter, hopefully by summer I'll be a dab wee hand at this sober stuff and won't even miss it in the slightest, and I will be laughing and happy and funny and really together, and painlessly generous in allowing others around me to do whatever they wish, without it affecting me. (I'll probably be hiding in a corner somewhere on the new laptop I'm going to get, writing stuff on Lotta's new website). Cool, I'll hold that thought, and go read some more Jason!!