Friday, 16 October 2015


The weekend in Wellington was amazingly awesome.  I dont' even know where to start to describe the happiness and humour and pure joy we all experienced at meeting and getting to know each other, and having a whole weekend in which to do so.  The highlight was having a big get together at the Southern Cross Hotel downtown, in a big private part of the pub, mocktails all round and tasty treats, and our Lotta in our midst enjoying the catch up just as much as we were.  It was beautiful, and it really touched me when she spoke to us.  She explained that although we all feel a gratefulness to her, perhaps for being our catylist in getting sober, that the truth for her is that she has never really felt she truly fitted in anywhere, at school, at work, at uni, and just in general.  Until now.  Until she found her people in the blogging world as she struggled to get sober herself, and found all of us on her website, all sorts of people from all over the world coming together online to help each other out, and to be understood.  She said she has found her Tribe.  That we are her tribe.  It was very moving and there were a few tears around the room.  It is a tribe I am proud and happy to belong to.
It was so cool seeing my friend Charlie again and meeting so many others and having fun meals out and tons of laughter.

Came home to a busy house as I am now running my home as an AirBnB.   I've got the two front rooms all tarted up, and I have a lovely young lady from the UK here for quite a while, and a man from Hawaii has just left.  It's different, but quite easy, and definitely not something I'd consider in a million years if I was still slugging back southern comfort like it's the last hurrah!  All of the money will go towards building my home, so there is a good sense of purpose involved, and it is easier and more lucrative than having permanent housemates.

I am feeling very happy and content.  I just love the springtime and the renewed energy and warmth that it brings.  I've planted lots of flowers, the lawns are mowed, the house is clean and tidy, and I feel like I can do anything.  I feel like things are finally clicking into place for me.  It has been a long cold winter.  But all the lost and lonely hard and struggling moments of adjustment have been worth it to get to Now. Now I know that it isn't "sobriety" that I am so happy about (I don't like that word at all, never have, it sounds so straight and narrow and boring and limiting), it is not about "being sober", so much as being free.  "Free of alcohol".  I no longer have a physcological addiction to a substance.  I feel so free.  I do not need it to feel contentment and purpose and happiness in my life.  I do not need it to be my true and best self.   I do not need it to have fun and laughter, or enjoy communication on many levels, and I don't need it to feel like I belong.  Oh....and newsflash!!  I am on my fourth week and fifth day of freedom from my 40 year cigarette habit too.  That's been a biggie but we won't talk about that dirty filthy stinking degrading shameful little habit any more because I don't have that habit any more.  Gone.

What I do have is Netflix (goodbye Sky) and I love it, so now I will get myself all tucked up with a mohair rug on the couch, at home on a Saturday night, by myself, as usual, no problem, and I will watch a few episodes of Luther, my favourite and most excellent new addiciton, a British crime drama.  Over and out.......

Ain't life a treat!

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