Thursday 18 September 2014

60 DAYS WITHOUT A DROP OF POISON !!

It's been an awfully long time since I've written a blog. Not sure why apart from things revving up in my business and having house guests for a week.  But I suspect it also has something to do with the enormous increase of members over at LivingSober.org.nz, and the time it takes to keep up with all the posts. It is so cool how many are finding their way into a sober lifestyle and how much better they like their lives, and themselves. Very cool indeed.
Well at 60 days I can look back over the last couple of months, and although it has not all been easy, the letting go of something I have thoroughly enjoyed for two thirds of my life, I can honestly say it hasn't really been all that hard either. There are other things that have been harder, like letting go of the lovely home I was going to build overlooking the sea, and some difficult family situations which have caused me a lot of stress.
I've got through this time quite well I think because it feels so right.  As soon as I had made the decision to quit (like so many of us - after seeing Mrs D on TV) well I just tried to embrace it rather than fight it. Lots of times I feel like a drink but it is like this remote thing now.  It is a thought. That is all.
I think I am a bit slower than some to really feel the rewards and that is my own fault for being too busy.  I have not had much time for navel gazing yet. I could have managed my time better by not going to bed so early, and when I do go to bed I could have meditated or read more books instead of watching TV and movies. I've eaten too much chocolate and had too many carbs and I've put on 3 kilos, so not looking the best.  But apart from that I am feeling fantastic.  Alive. Awake. Capable. Energetic. Confident.  Enthusiastic. Clear Headed. Calm.  Even Tempered. Guilt Free. Happy. I am very grateful to be feeling this way, and I am quietly determined to just keep going and then slowly begin to examine the deeper reasons why I have abused myself with alcohol for so long, and for a while in my youth with cocaine, acid, and mandrax. Maybe there is no reason? Maybe I am just a brat!
I still have negative feelings as well as all the positve ones above. Like I am still jealous of Charlie Gilbert for losing all that weight and taking her small 60 days sober bum off for a lovely walk today. (Congrats on 60 days Charlie if you read this xo). I am jealous of all of you who just Love all your runs and walks and gyms and yoga.  I wish I loved exercise.  I just don't!  That is why I have got so tubby.  So that is something I need to work on.
I can hear arrivals in the driveway and Mr Normal is coming over for the first time in over a week, so I shall go and greet him, and then start preparing a nice dinner I've got planned.  Fresh crispy skin salmon with wasabi mayo, green beans and cute little potatoes.  Over and out xo

5 comments:

  1. I don't do exercise I need help with that one as well and I've gained 2kg in the past month since Mr D has been away so hope that makes you feel better! You are amazing I am stoked for you xxx

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  2. I think you are amazing. I admire you so much, especially in regards to running your own business. It's something I feel I could never do. When I first "met you, I was unsure either of us could do this no booze thing, we were pretty shaky .. but look at us now... we are DOING it Prudence. Please don't worry about the other stuff so much. You're incredible. I am glad I know you xx

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  3. You are doing it. Sober.
    You are doing it perfectly.
    Comparison is the thief of happiness! Embrace your way.

    Yay!

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  4. Dear Prudence,I have loved being on this journey with you and I am so happy that we have made it here together.Look at us now! I am glad I know you too.Now dish me up some of that Akaroa salmon! xox

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  5. I love the "Dear Prudence". When I was a child I was so horribly embarrassed of my middle name and thought my parents were cruel for choosing it. When I was about 12 the song came out and I began to like it. Now I love it. And thank you all for your kindness and friendship and encouragement. I honestly know I would not have got to where I am without you guys, especially those early days in the first couple of weeks. It has meant a real lot to me to find you wonderful ladies to connect with. You are all STARS of the highest order xoxox

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