I've been wondering where I used to get all the time to drink. Generally once I started drinking that was about it for everything else. I might cook or make a couple of phone calls, but mainly it was just drinking and music and talking, oh and sometimes playing the fool! I seemed to manage an awful lot of responsibilities for all of those many years I was quite happily boozing my way through life, I honestly don't know how I did it. I am even a little bit in awe of myself. There is so much to do and arrange and focus on and remember every single day, what was I thinking by knocking back hefty amounts of alcohol pretty much every night? I am So glad I do not do this any more. Every day I wake up with a clear head and feeling at peace with myself. No regret, no uneasy feelings, no guilt, no queasy stomach or headache, no feelings of "how am I going to get through today". Instead I am happy, hungry, full of energy, rearing to go, and ready to accomplish all I'm able to in that one day. I love the sense that I am not wasting any of my life any more. There is so much yet to do and to learn and to see and to feel. I am excited about all that is ahead for me. The unknown aspect of it intrigues me. To imagine the grandchildren that are not yet born. To imagine the people whom I will love and laugh with that I have not yet met. Life is full of change, particularly for those of us who are open to it, and I feel today that of all the seasons, Spring is the one that brings the most positive change, to us as well as to nature. I look forward to new growth in my garden, and in my heart and my soul as well.
I have a lovely fire going and I'm warm and content and cosy, but I will be happy to farewell our winter for another year, and next Winter I will be embracing it in my new home, and so much closer to nature. Yeah! Bring it on...
